I’m Thinking of Leaving My Depressed Husband After 13 Years Together—Has Anyone Been Through This?

I never imagined I would be writing something like this, but I feel lost and need advice from people who have experienced something similar. I’m a 29-year-old woman, and my husband is 30. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for the last three. He’s the only relationship I’ve ever had, which makes this decision even harder. When we first started dating, I knew he struggled with depression, but I didn’t fully understand how deeply it affected his everyday life. After we moved in together six years ago, everything became much more obvious. He constantly talks negatively about his job, his life, and his future. He often makes comments about wishing he could die, even if he says they’re just jokes. He also has a difficult relationship with his family and rarely finds joy in anything. Over the years, I’ve done everything I could to support him. I encouraged therapy, suggested medical evaluations, checked for hormonal issues, and even talked about medication. Unfortunately, nothing has changed because he refuses to consistently help himself. It feels like I’ve been carrying the emotional weight of our relationship alone, and I’m exhausted. On top of his depression, he is autistic and finds social situations extremely difficult. I understand those challenges, but they’ve also left me feeling incredibly lonely. I’ve worked hard to build friendships because I needed a support system, yet he rarely joins me or tries to connect with my friends. Recently, we went on a group trip together. Instead of spending time with everyone, he stayed alone in our room or isolated himself for most of the vacation. I felt like I was traveling alone despite being married. Lately, I’ve been thinking about our future, especially the possibility of having children. The truth is, I can’t picture raising kids with him in his current state. I worry that parenting would overwhelm him and that I would end up handling almost all the responsibilities on my own. I also worry because he hasn’t shown me that he can emotionally support me when I’m struggling. This situation is incredibly complicated. We own a house together, have pets, and share debt. Walking away wouldn’t just mean ending a relationship—it would mean rebuilding my entire life from scratch. The hardest part is that he’s genuinely a good person. We still have happy moments together, and that’s what makes this decision so painful. But love alone doesn’t seem enough anymore, especially when I’m constantly feeling lonely, unsupported, and emotionally drained. I’m seriously wondering if it’s time to leave, but I’m scared of making the wrong choice. Has anyone else ended a long-term relationship because their partner’s untreated depression was affecting the marriage? Did your life get better, or did you regret leaving? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences because right now, I feel completely stuck.